Chaos Blogg 78: Dance and turn into a tree that produces what looks like oranges

Welcome to the first chaos blogg of 2017, the terrifying reality that another year has past is sinking in and well that’s not a good feeling. This blogg is here for your interest/mild entertainment, as well as mine, actually it’s mainly mine but hey if you’re reading this that’s fantastic. I hope you enjoy the contents, and we shall begin with some remixes.

Fate/Grand Order: First Order (Anime one shot):

Fate/Grand Order is a mobile game based on the fate series, think something along the lines of the upcoming Fire Emblem Heroes. The game itself I can’t review since I only played a certain portion of it before it would no longer work on my PC (I don’t have the correct phone to access this). This special is one I watched to the end so I feel okay in expressing an opinion on it. The visuals are good but compared to the UBW anime it’s a bit rubbish but that’s relative quality. The characters are pretty neat but not many are developed meaningful however that doesn’t seem to be the point. The music is pretty great from what I remember but most of it is borrowed from the game. The action is the main draw here as fan favs and brand new characters battle it out. Fans of Lancer from UBW will probably get a good kick out of a lot of these scenes so consider that as motivation for you folks. As it was adapted from a mobile game the story is utter rubbish and it feels like it exists just for the sake of the game rather than being something that has any depth or meaning. It’s only a one and done deal for now so it’s not the biggest waste of time but don’t expect anything great.

Minecraft (360):

I had never played this game until now, which is quite odd considering that it’s had a huge impact on the medium. Better late than never though I guess. I can see the appeal of this title, it can be quite relaxing but also requires some skill, stress and curiosity. At the same time for each moment of enjoyment I had I found an exponentially increasing amount of boredom that ultimately comes from games that are too open. There’s a lot you can technically do but it never really seemed like there was much to do. Perhaps this a flaw within my own character and I’m just not suited to this style of game, but ultimately I can only see myself going to this on rare occasions if my mood would call for it. Visually it’s kind of blarghhhh but it also has beauty and I seem to find that it’s partly due to randomness that this duality exists. The music is calm and relaxing which helps with this being an overall calming experience however it’s unmemorable for the most part. I can’t personally recommend the title but I can understand if you decide to play it and I hope your personality can allow that to be an enjoyable time for you.

Orange (Anime):

A solid emotional anime that excels at pulling at the heart strings with some tough topics, some well fitting music, and well developed characters. It’s a little underwhelming in it’s visuals and at times it drags on. I think more visual polish could have made this fantastic but otherwise it’s just something you should consider if you’re looking for drama to watch but not an anime I can highly recommend (But it’s more to do with it not clicking with me on a certain level).

Assassins Creed: The Movie (Movie):

I was expecting a whole lot worse from this film, but I wasn’t really disappointed until the end of the film where whatever little quality was there suddenly dissipated in an attempt to heavily sequelbait. It has some cool ideas and action sequences, but the characters aren’t properly developed and it falls under the weight of it’s own lore but without ever really expanding on anything within the games. The soundtrack is pretty good and is another reason I recommend just renting this and then going to play one of the many actual Assassins Creed games to have some actual substance and fun (varies depending on game).

Occultic;Nine (Anime):

This anime felt like a huge waste of time and a huge waste of talent. Not since Nisekoi have I watched something that was such a treat to the eyes and ears but ultimately had about much substance as an empty tube of toothpaste. Occultic;Nine certainly has interesting ideas and characters but it never really fully fleshes them out and what we end up with is an unsatisfying mess of a plot with underutilised characters and a shit tone of fast talking that even puts monogatari to shame. Throughout most of the series I was confused as to whether I was watching brilliance or insanity. The problem is in the pacing since most of the series is spent up building the mystery’s once the curtain is being pulled back it’s only got a few episodes left to pull off a climax and a conclusion to what seems like a complex mystery. However it ends up rushing through all this and it comes across as a bunch of contrived bullshit that completely shits on any potential the narrative has left. I don’t recommend this at all. Oh and the actual conclusion is anticlimactic and rubbish.

Prison Architect (PC):

A fun little game that involves the construction and management of prisons. It’s not all that visually fascinating but its not offensive to the eyes either. Same can be said of the soundtrack which serves it’s purpose but is ultimately forgettable. The campaign was quite nice and I wasn’t expecting that at all when I booted this up. It serves as a great tutorial and has some decent writing. The gameplay is really fun but it does suffer some glitches and I doubt it’s got longevity. On the upside the individual play sessions were often really long so I felt like I got some good value here. However I didn’t particularly enjoy the prison escape mode which seemed really clumsy but I never gave it a lengthy shot so I can’t give a definite opinion on that mode. However this game isn’t bad and may be worth checking out at some point.

Keijo!!!!!!!! (Anime):

Not since high school of the dead do I think I’ve seen something that was a blast to watch while being soaked in ‘echhi’. Perhaps Kill la Kill counts? However I think that was more excepted by the world due to it’s stylistic choices. Keijo is a sports/battle anime about a water sport that involves the use of the chest and buttocks exclusively. The soundtrack is great, the fights are awesome (not the best I’ve ever seen but still much better than I would have expected from such a premise), and ultimately the characters and story are solid even if they’re not all that complex or original. The absurdity of the show makes it more of a comedy and I think that’s the intention, to take the piss while also being competent. Its an enjoyable experience and it was a hell of a lot better than I was expecting, in fact I think I can recommend this to the curious amongst you quite highly.

Shantae: Half Genie Hero (Wii U):

This game is the perfect example of kickstarter it’s produces great games and great disappointments. Shantae’s latest outing is both of these, a fantastic little game in it’s own right but also a disappointment to the overall quality of the series as a whole. First off lets get the praise clear the game controls fine, has a lot of neat powers up and even optimises some stuff. It is a visual and audio treat and while I do prefer the look in the previous 2 games this new style is beautiful and filled with charm. Also back to audio for a second, this game has a fantastic soundtrack for certain however it feels like it would be more at home in a mighty switch force game but that might just be the instrumentation or something like that. The problem is that this game feels like it doesn’t know what to be. The story is almost inconsequential and so divided that it could’ve been several episodes of a Saturday morning cartoon. It loses the sense of adventure the other games had and ultimately makes everything feel a bit too pointless. Also all the characters seem to have forgotten any of the previous progression they had in the previous games and if it wasn’t for nods to past titles within the dialogue you’d swear this was a reboot or some kind of alternate timeline. It’s quite confused and it feels like they don’t where to go with the characters at this point (even though fleshing out the back story seems like an obvious path to take). The next major disappointment is that the level design went from Metroidvania to Mega Man but with forced replays. I’m not sure why they did this but instead letting the player move freely through the world they decided that having some linear levels to go through would be a better choice, which it wasn’t. Forcing replays of levels doesn’t count as backtracking guys and while I did enjoy the occasional item hunt it was no replacement for an actual metroidvania experience. Not only that but the series staple of labyrinths are obviously gone as well removing one of the best elements of the series. I hope wayforward can get this series back on track now that they’ve got a whole new bunch of flashy art assets. Otherwise it may just be time for me to give up on ever getting a consistent Metroidvania experience from any developer. It’s still a good game but it could’ve been so much better it hurts.

Well 2017 is off to a very lukewarm start judging from what I just typed. A couple of big disappointments, and one nice surprise along with butt-load of business as usual. I hope you enjoyed this blogg, and for the more perverted amongst you here are some pictures.

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